It has been snowing this week in Columbus. One of the things I love about growing up and living in the Midwest is the excitement that comes with the arrival of winter. My favorite thing to do is to watch fresh snow fall outside my window as I drink a cup of tea and read a good book. Unfortunately, the hospital calls every day of the year, and I have to step out into the snowy abyss. The snow blows horizontally, my face freezes over, and I spend my day treating patients who want to be in the hospital even less than I do (because who wants to be sick over the holidays?).
I found myself experiencing that familiar feeling of initial enchantment by the snow, the lights, and even the tiny Christmas tree I have put up in my apartment, closely followed by the disappointment that comes from missing out on traditions we have at home. It’s a difficult life we have chosen in medicine, but a fulfilling one, and I found myself distinctly relating to the poem by Robert Frost, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.” I would love to hear what all of you think about it as well.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening By Robert Frost Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.
The prompt for this week is this:
“Write about how you feel on a snowy evening.”
You have seven minutes. See you next week.
References:
- Frost R. (1995). Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. [online] Poetry Foundation. Available at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/42891/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening Accessed 18 Dec. 2019.
More unedited writing of mine. About fifteen minutes on how I know if I am doing a good job.
I put off responding to this prompt for as long as I could because as much as I know how valuable it is to do this kind of self-assessment, I also know that it can be painful to actually define metrics for yourself to live up to. What if I cannot even meet my own expectations? That’s worse than disappointing someone else.
I supposed that doing a good job in medicine for me comes down to a few main things:
- Taking good care of my patients
- Taking good care of myself
- Taking good care of my colleagues
That is incredibly nebulous and annoying. What does it mean to take good care of all of these groups? For my patients, I think it entails:
- Listening and being present with each of them, even while being efficient (it IS possible!)
- Taking time to read and learn medicine (a more big-picture type of presence)
- Showing compassion
- Taking ownership and initiative for their care
- Having the confidence to trust myself
- Having the humility to ask for help when I need to
For myself, a lot of the same applies:
- Listening, being self-aware, showing compassion
- Reading, paying attention, and learning from all of my experiences to take full advantage of my time in residency
- Taking ownership and initiative to help me learn and grow as a physician, and having faith in myself and my newly developed abilities
- Not feeling shame for needing to ask for help, whether that is for someone to talk me through a difficult management strategy or for a safe space to vent or cry
For my colleagues, it’s amazing how much all of this is exactly the same, at least in my mind:
- Paying attention to how my colleagues are doing and offering them support when they look like they need it
- Providing a safe space for us to work without judgement or shame
- Taking ownership of my patients, their conditions, their documentation, their orders, everything I can, so that I can provide a safe transition to the next team and not burden my colleagues
- Not being afraid to ask for help early on when I require less support instead of waiting until I am debilitated
It seems like a few main themes emerged from this for me to generally be a good physician:
- Providing a safe space for all of us to be human, to make mistakes, to ask for help
- Not being afraid to take advantage of that safe space
- Working as hard as I can to do the best that I can and to learn from my mistakes and from others
- Being present, supportive, and compassionate and asking for help when I find myself unable to do those things
Seem like some good goals to me. They’ll probably change as I go through residency and think about this some more, but it seems like a reasonable starting point. I’d love to hear what many of you have thought about!
Writing for Wellness 